The recent news surrounding Martyr Captain Anshuman Singh, his widow Smriti Singh, and his parents has sparked a nationwide debate. Both sides have garnered significant support, with opinions fiercely divided. As someone who staunchly supports Smriti Singh, I feel compelled to articulate my stance, addressing the complexities and emotional depth of this situation.
The Context
Captain Anshuman Singh, a brave soldier, was martyred, leaving behind his widow, Smriti Singh, and his grieving parents. The controversy began when Captain Singh’s parents publicly expressed their dissatisfaction with the government’s decision to award Smriti Singh the Kirti Chakra and funds designated for the family of a martyr. Their statement, “bahuyen to bhag jati hain, hume kya mila,” implying that daughters-in-law often leave, was both shocking and hurtful.
The Nominee Rule
Before joining the army, every soldier is required to designate a nominee. If unmarried, the nominee is typically a parent; if married, the spouse becomes the nominee unless stated otherwise. This rule, grounded in military policy, clearly supports the government’s decision to award Smriti Singh. It is crucial to understand that this has nothing to do with the government favoring Mrs. Singh over Captain Singh’s parents. It is a standard procedure followed across the armed forces.
The Relationship Timeline
The parents’ claim that the marriage was just five months old dismisses the fact that Anshuman and Smriti were in a relationship for over eight years. For them, the bond was not merely confined to the short span of their marriage but was a culmination of nearly a decade of shared dreams, hopes, and deep emotional connection. This relationship, and the trauma Smriti Singh endures, cannot be trivialized based on the official length of their marriage.
Marriage and Relationships
In our society, marriage is often viewed as the ultimate validation of a relationship. However, love and commitment are not confined to this institution. Historically, various forms of unions, like the Gandharva Vivaha, were recognized as valid as long as they were based on mutual consent and love. Similarly, Smriti Singh’s relationship with Captain Singh was validated by their long-term commitment, irrespective of the duration of their marriage.
Misconceptions and Realities
There are misconceptions fueled by influencers and YouTubers claiming that Captain Singh’s parents are left without support. However, it is known that Captain Singh had two siblings, and his father is an ex-army Subedar. Thus, the narrative that they are entirely dependent on the martyr’s compensation is misleading. Furthermore, the argument that Smriti Singh can easily remarry overlooks the profound emotional scars left by the loss of a loved one. Comparing her situation to that of Vikram Batra’s fiancée, who chose not to remarry, shows the depth of commitment and love that transcends conventional societal expectations.
A Call for Privacy
Such deeply personal matters should be handled with sensitivity and respect. By making this a public issue, Captain Singh’s parents have inadvertently demeaned both their son and daughter-in-law. This situation calls for a more empathetic and private resolution, where the family can grieve and heal without the glare of public scrutiny.
Conclusion
In supporting Smriti Singh, I emphasize the importance of acknowledging her rightful place as Captain Anshuman Singh’s nominee, honoring their long-term relationship, and respecting her grief. The nominee rule is clear, and her connection to Captain Singh was profound and deeply rooted. Let us not diminish her trauma or the love they shared by reducing their relationship to mere legalities.
We must strive for compassion and understanding, allowing both Smriti Singh and Captain Singh’s parents to find peace in their own ways. Let this be a reminder that in times of loss, unity and empathy should prevail over division and public spectacle.
